Darkness is dead, but hard to kill

I legitimately struggle with my dead self sometimes. I know we all battle the old selves that remind us of our pre-Christ ways, but there are moments when I'm literally foaming at the mouth (so to speak) in my mind and spirit. The smallest thing can set it off, then I feel like a totally different, and much more wrathful, person. Pray for me. Pray that God restores sanity to my soul in moments when I am overwhelmed by things I can't even target or specify. God is huge and sin is dead through Jesus. But I honestly feel like a dark-Grady wells up sometimes and makes my blood boil. I'm a cheery guy and most of you never see this, but pray please. I don't want loved ones to suffer.  The Holy Spirit is good to deliver His children.

New Song! The Littlest Lion

 HEY GUYS, HERE ARE THE LYRICS TO MY NEW STORY SONG, "THE LITTLEST LION".  TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!  VERY HAPPY ABOUT THE STORY AND IT MAKES ME CRY (MAINLY DUE TO MY LOVE OF ASLAN AND SIMBA)

The Littlest Lion did dream a little dream

Of a land on the edge of a day

And his little lion feet skipped along to the beat

Of a strange little flame in his heart

From a cozy little cottage on the edge of the wood

Did the hero of our tale embark

And stark was the dark of the bark of the trees

When the cub stole away from his home

And harsh the were the scowls of the bats and the owls

Toward the lion that cried in the night

While he sobbed and choked, curled up by an oak

The cub prayed hard for the morn

When the sun rose up again

Some hope the light restored

For the Fox had heard the Lion's plight

And warmed him in his den

Now wise was the Fox in the ways of the world

And quick was the cub to learn

Of the old and the new and the deeper truths

That were free to the ones who seek

And many a day did pass in the warmth

Of dusty tomes and lore

But the lion's soul called him to roam

So the Fox bid him farewell

On wintry hill forlorn

The lion braved the chill

Then met his mentor's kin, the Wolf

And learned from Wolf the more

Now the thrill of the hunt ran deep in the blood

Of the Wolf and his family

On battlegrounds fierce, the Lion grew strong

Til his enemies feared his roar

But the honor of the pack was thicker than the stench

Of the vermin that the Lion slew

And the freedom they won for the innocent beasts

Was pardon for the lives cut short

But though, in fame, he grew

The Lion lacked a mate

Until, from regions ne'er explored

A Beauty did appear

In a trance from the power never felt by the Cub

Did he race to the Beauty on the shore

To the radiant glow of her countenance fair

His life did the Lion pledge

By the sea did the lovers breathe deep in the spray

Of the waves that shone in the sun

And the fire in the heart of the Lion burned bright

When the eyes of his Beauty he saw

Then after seasons long

Into the West he flew

And to the gold horizon

Did he call his only Cub

The Littlest Lion did dream a little dream

Of a land on the edge of a day

And his little lion feet skipped along to the beat

Of a strange little flame in his heart

It's not chaos to Jesus

Crazy!

That's pretty much the summation of how my life feels on a daily basis right now.  And no, it's not crazy in the impending doom kind of way either.  My lovely wife, Brandy, is beautiful and blesses me ceaselessly, our house is fun and provides a great man-cave, and most of all:  God is showing up in my life consistently!

But,

In all of the blessings, I still struggle with direction pretty constantly.

It's actually funny that I'm typing this a few days after an incredible youth retreat called Chrysalis, where I was blessed to lead music, because the Lord brought me a lot of peace and even some father-to-son reconciliation that was long coming.   But maybe that's what sets the framework for this post more than anything.  After seeing God take my weakness, along with the weakness of the rest of the retreat staff, and make a beautiful, life-changing weekend spring from it, I know He's in control.

Even something as scary as healing my relationship with my earthly father, God took it in beautiful stride last weekend.  Praise Him!!!

So, as to not just keep typing indefinitely, I really want to jump to my main point.

IN ALL THE CRAZINESS OF LIFE, NOTHING IS OUT OF GOD'S PLAN AND CONTROL!

That thought floors me, literally while we prayed this weekend.  The King of the universe has a plan for me and works all things together for the GOOD of those that love Him and call Him Abba, which essentially means 'daddy'.

As some of you know, I am a "starving artist" currently, touring and playing shows in TN and around the country (PA this weekend in fact).   And even though that's my dream job, thank Jesus, I've still been terrified in many moments about how I'm going to provide for my family.  BUT, that's the beauty of it:  GOD IS THE PROVIDER FOR MY FAMILY, NOT ME!

Sure, I need to lead and stand firm in God's calling, but on the bigger, more eternal scale, it's all God and His outpouring of love and provision that sustains my family at just the right moment.

My good friend Andrew Soreano, a missionary with his wife Dira in Mozambique, reminded me of how truly in control my King and Lord is over this life.  I should have nothing to fear, because God is that much more powerful than ANYTHING THE WORLD THROWS AT ME

Another buddy of mine, Vincent Charlow, prayed an encouraging word over me the other day regarding this Truth.  Vincent said that all the seemingly chaotic, unconnected things in my life were actually working to God's plan (whether or not I can see it daily).

What a blessing it is to have great brothers around me.  So,  I plan to pray hard, walk humbly, and daily look for Christ's little guidance tidbits so that I can step in time with His heart for my life.

Hope to see you on the road or at a church show.  Let's all seek the Lord in the TRUST that He's actually big enough to take us through to the end.  He's got a plan to prosper and not harm us.

Praise be to God,
---Grady Milligan
www.gradymilligan.bandcamp.com